The Longest Journey

(On a train heading to London.)

Karen: I hate trains.

Neil: You hate everything.

Karen: Do I?

Neil: Yeah.

Karen: No I don’t think I do.

Neil: Well you’re constantly moaning, so sorry that I get the impression that you hate everything.

Karen: You’re pathetic, do you really have to do this now?

Neil: I’m not doing anything.

Karen: Yes you are.

Neil: No. I’m not.

Karen: I’ve had enough.

Neil: And there we are, the daily ‘I’ve had enough!’

Karen: Just leave me alone now.

Neil: Grow up.

Karen: You’re the one who needs to grow up.

Neil: No you are.

Karen: You really are insufferable.

Neil: So why do you hate trains?

Karen: They make me feel sick, you know I get travel sickness.

Neil: Oh yeah.

Karen: So where shall we eat later?

Neil: Don’t mind.

Karen: I mean, I thought you may have had something planned already.

(Ticket attendant walks past and stamps the carriages tickets)

Neil: No.

Karen: I think it may be hard finding a restaurant then if you haven’t booked anything.

Neil: It’s London, I’m sure somewhere will have a table free.

Karen: I didn’t just want to go to any old place though, I want to go somewhere nice and special.

Neil: We’ll find somewhere.

Karen: You really aren’t very thoughtful are you?

Neil: Whys that?

Karen: Well I mean I have a whole weekend planned for your birthday next week. But for my birthday you tell me ‘let’s go to London for the evening’, but then expect me to book and pay for the train tickets and hotel? And you haven’t even booked a table.

Neil: I’ve been busy, you work part time how do you expect me to get everything planned when I barely have time for dinner in the evenings?

Karen: I wish you were at home more.

Neil: What do you expect? When I’m not working I’m having to see my parents.

Karen: You see your family pretty much most days, I barely even get a few hours a week with you.

Neil: We live together, you see me every day.

Karen: Seeing is very different to spending quality time together.

Neil: Then maybe you should go out more.

Karen: It’s not a matter of me going out more, I socialise enough.

Neil: You could socialise more.

Karen: Then who would cook and clean? Sometimes I stay in in the hope that football may be cancelled or you would rather see me than your friends one evening.

Neil: I’m not changing my lifestyle to fit your needs.

Karen: I wouldn’t really call it needs, it’s what comes with being in a relationship.

Neil: If you’re not happy then leave.

Karen: I don’t want to leave.

Neil: Then shut the fuck up.

Karen: Don’t talk to me like that here, it’s embarrassing.

Neil: Whatever.

Karen: What have we become?

Neil: What do you mean what have we become?

Karen: We used to laugh at people who were like this, we were so in love and always happy. We were best friends.

Neil: Nothing’s changed.

Karen: How can you say nothing has changed?

Neil: I don’t think it has.

Karen: Well I do.

Neil: That’s your opinion.

Karen: Is my opinion not important?

Neil: I didn’t say that.

Karen: Just look at us. We bicker like this every day. It really hurts me.

Neil: No, you nag at me every day and I end up having to defend myself.

Karen: I nag because you are selfish.

Neil: I’m not selfish.

Karen: I beg to differ.

Neil: Well that’s just a matter of opinion.

Karen: You’ve changed so much.

Neil: How have I changed?

Karen: You used to be funny and easy going, you used to chat for hours about stuff that I had no interest in but I loved listening to you talk.

Neil: You know I’m just really busy with this new promotion.

Karen: I know.

Neil: I’m doing this for us.

Karen: Are you?

Neil: You know I am.

Karen: Why do you lie all the time?

Neil: What do you mean?

Karen: I mean why do you constantly lie to me, Neil?

Neil: I don’t lie all the time.

Karen: You do, you think I don’t notice but I do.

Neil: You just don’t trust me clearly.

Karen: I do trust you, I mean I want to trust you. I do trust you.

Neil: I can’t take it back.

Karen: I know, I don’t hold it against you.

Neil: I feel like you do.

Karen: I try not to, sometimes it’s hard not to think about it though, especially what with your mum last year.

Neil: Let’s not get into this now.

Karen: Don’t worry I’m not going to say it.

Neil: Good.

Karen: You don’t need to feel ashamed.

Neil: I do.

Karen: We all lie sometimes.

Neil: Not like that though.

Karen: No maybe not like that.

Neil: Exactly.

Karen: But I understand why now I think.

Neil: You don’t have to stay with me.

Karen: I want to though.

Neil: I don’t deserve you.

Karen: Yes you do, we all make mistakes.

Neil: Not like that.

Karen: I can try and move on from it, why can’t you?

Neil: Because it’s changed me. I don’t feel like myself anymore.

Karen: I can help you.

Neil: No, this is irreparable.

Karen: There must be some way of fixing it?

Neil: Well have you got any ideas?

*Silence*

Neil: Exactly.

Karen: Would writing a diary help?

Neil: I’m not a 13 year old girl.

Karen: It may help though.

Neil: Maybe we should just end things.

Karen: Fine then. Let’s just end things.

Neil: Don’t be like that.

Karen: No I will be like that, if you’re willing to throw all these years away because of that then so be it.

Neil: I just don’t understand how you can look at me and still love me.

Karen: Because it’s insignificant for me, my love for you is too strong to let this affect me.

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